If the writers had leaned into that conclusion it might have squared the circle of the Hester Paradox you identify, too; if she had died much earlier, say in Frasier and Niles' young adulthood, it would do a lot more to explain the boys' stark divergence from Martin by the time of the show - their insecure social climbing, his descent into bitterness and grievance.
A recent death can adequately explain Martin's bitterness, but not Frasier's resignation to it being insurmountable - pilot Frasier is a man who has long ago learned not to even *try* to bond with his dad.
If the writers had leaned into that conclusion it might have squared the circle of the Hester Paradox you identify, too; if she had died much earlier, say in Frasier and Niles' young adulthood, it would do a lot more to explain the boys' stark divergence from Martin by the time of the show - their insecure social climbing, his descent into bitterness and grievance.
A recent death can adequately explain Martin's bitterness, but not Frasier's resignation to it being insurmountable - pilot Frasier is a man who has long ago learned not to even *try* to bond with his dad.
That final line is genius! I've watched the show countless times since it originally aired, and this is the first time I've considered that aspect.